First of all remember you are the same person you were before you had your stoma, you have not changed, your thoughts and feelings are still the same person as you were before you had your stoma operation.
The thoughts that will be going through your mind at the very beginning is body image how do I look, will I be accepted by my partner, or will I ever be able to have a relationship with another person, fear of rejection, will I be able to perform sexually, will there be any odour from my bag, will it fall off during physical contact. All these are natural thoughts and yes you will go through these before, during and after. You will be conscious of all these things you will be more aware and if you are worried and need to talk to someone your Stoma Care Nurse is there to help and guide you through them, take your partner along so that they can also relate their fears.
I promise you it is not rocket science communicate to the partner your fears and listen to theirs, make sure before that you have emptied the bag and if at all possible try using a smaller one for the occasion or cover. Ladies and gentlemen take a look at Vanilla Blush https://www.vblush.com/ , try new positions be adventurous, avoid food and drink that you know will cause you flatulence’s or loose stools. In the beginning you will feel awkward, take baby steps, communicate to your partner what is going on, as they will not be able to read your mind. As you get stronger and more confident, your smiles will return.